I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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