I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
