and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize