i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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