haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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