you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
