he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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