I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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