And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
