did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
