i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
