i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Randomize
