I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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