I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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