ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
