If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
