her vagine was all disorganized.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
