i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
