So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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