just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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