This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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