I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize