How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
