I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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