yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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