No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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