i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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