This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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