Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
