You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
