okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
