It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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