you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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