I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
