well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
