well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
