This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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