Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I party with great urgency now.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
