Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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