is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
