Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
