He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
