i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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