Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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