he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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