Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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