the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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