I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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