dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The convent might be a nice break from real life
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
