You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
