thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
