woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
