Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
