i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
