I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
