Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My breasts were aching with rage.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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