I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
