I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
