So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
