mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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