i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
