so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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